Authors Note: In a new series on Energetics, I will post short weekly Friday rants on topics that have very little to do with energy, mostly out of pure whimsy and/or cultural frustration. Please enjoy :)
The Issue: "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes"
The Rant: Inspired by Bryan Walsh's TIME post this morning "Why the Apes Aren't Going to Rise," I finally put thought to keyboard on my take on the new Planet of the Apes reboot. #SpoilerAlert
I'd just like to point out that, in the original mythology, the process by which apes eventually conquered humans was much more dynamic and feasible.
In the original mythology, a virus wiped out all cats and dogs on the planet and apes were adopted as replacement domesticated pets. Apes, of course, proved more useful than cats and dogs, and gradually evolved into a kind of pet-servant class of animal. Through this developmental force they became more intelligent and verbal, and eventually developed the sentient desire for freedom. Some humans were sympathetic--most were not. An underground revolution among the apes emerged, and a tactical strategy was executed that eventually earned apes the role of dominant species on the earth.
The two things preventing apes from taking over humankind are 1) numbers and 2) intelligence. The new movie deals with the second, coming up with a MacGuffin technology that makes the apes as smart as humans. Walsh points out that the movie ignores the first limitation, i.e. that there's so very few apes.
The original movies dealt with both these limitations. The new movie decided to corrupt a cogent and satisfying mythology without demonstrating a literary usefulness, beyond aesthetic and visual effects, for its re-imaginging
Absurd Energetics: No isolated revolution or "silver bullet" technology will precipitate decarbonization on a global scale, just like a few hundred apes in San Francisco could not possibly #killallhumans.
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